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Safe and sound.
Hello, long time! I cried a lot today. It started at 12 o'clock a while ago.. It was because I was very nervous about our defense and also because my close friends are all eating together and I'm forever alone. Why? I don't know. I think because someone already filled my spot. There's this girl who actually thinks she's bestfriends with my bestfriends but she's not. Ugh. I don't want to hate her. I just dislike her. And then.. at 3 o'clock, i started hyperventilating. Our teacher shouted at our group. We didn't even had the chance to defend our paper because it's incomplete. I was hurt a lot. I started crying until my body felt numb. I can't breathe, I practically had to catch my breath. My hands were cold. My hands and feet are cramping. I can't move them a while ago. I was really hurt about what she said. Yes, i admit. I did something wrong. But out of all my groupmates, it is I, who needs more credit since I had done almost every work there is in the thesis. I could say that I gave my all. Still, it isn't enough. Why? Because in the end, it's just me who's working. I NEED MY GROUP MATES. But where are they when I need them? They aren't responding quickly and they won't sometimes even listen to me. Whose fault is this then? I can't blame them. I won't blame them. That's the last thing on my mind right now.
Anyway, so Sir Manny, a redcross volunteer and also a teacher on our school checked us a while ago. He suggested that we should consult a doctor because the thing happened to us a while ago CAN be hereditary. Meaning, there might be a problem with us. I still remember my sister, when she was in 3rd year, she had the same experience. My mom said, It's her heart. And I'm thinking.. do i have it too? My mom also experiences something like this. I don't want to think about it. But there's a probability.
PS: GIVING UP IS NOT IN MY DICTIONARY! LSS: Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift. PPS: I shall change my theme. Labels: health, problem, random nonsense, school
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